Embracing Your Body Inside and Out
You heard the first half of BlkGirlDaily’s podcast episode on Blk Girls Embrace Intimacy. I want to leave a little self check note for the women who sought out this content, wherever you are in your personal relationships because I believe intimacy is one of the most important factors in our lives – it releases, destresses, multiplies positively and fulfills us in ways that man-made products can never get to.
So let’s get into this. We’re in this space of time where it is inevitable almost to always be ON. THE. GO… and when we come home to our lovers sometimes we find ourselves depleted of GOOD energy to give, let alone come home and being open to receiving.
For example: when you receive a compliment from someone, do you really accept it? Or do you brush it off with a cheapening response? Like thanks girl, I got it for 5 dollars at (insert store name). Or, Bae: You look nice today bae I like that… You: I’ve worn this dress a million times already, or my hair is dirty, I just threw some hoops on, thanks I guess….
You’re shutting down those intimate moments between yourself and said loved one, and before you know it, those flowers they were trying to give you no longer arrive at your doorstep. And then you’re left wondering “Where did it all go?”
I was guilty of this and my pain point was in not lacking intimacy per se, but it was the absence of self-love and it was affecting my intimacy. At times, I wasn’t able to receive compliments or inviting physical gestures from my husband because I did not see it in myself. I was depleted in a number of ways on the inside and it started to show outwardly or in the various ways that I interacted with those around me subconsciously.
Here’s where things turned around for me though…
AFFIRMATIONS…. A HOT BUTTON WORD THAT SHOULD NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE.
I turned my head trash thinking OFF and turned myself ON. I had to pour into myself in ways that were unfamiliar to me like actually reciting positive things to myself like I do on the daily to my children. Walking around the house (when the kids were away) completely naked, walking past the mirror and actually looking at myself. Do you know why that’s a big deal? In the past when I would walk past the mirror, I would either shy away completely, or start grabbing stuff on my body, like my pooch that birthed three kids, my butt that didn’t blow up yet after said three kids, and my boobs that change sizes on the daily.
That’s not loving on myself, that’s HATING.
I’ve always been small-framed, and while I grew up in the ’90s and 00’s where I guess this size was more advertised, I guess I was never really “aware” of my body type until I got to high school. There I was told if I turn to the side I’ll disappear or I better stay inside because the wind is going to blow me away.
EVEN THOUGH I ATE LIKE THE FOOD ITSELF WAS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS.
It was a hard complex to deal with, still is sometimes – because “real women have curves”, right? Luckily, my affirmations and keen intent on wanting to be more intimate with myself and with my husband ultimately gave me the right headspace I needed to not only love me for me but give others THIS WERK.
The sex was good before, but it turned to GREAT. When my husband crept up on me while I was cooking or talking to the kids, I was able to receive it, and not push away. My confidence took a turn for the best and I was able to talk to and teach (multiply) other women about how they could achieve the same level of confidence that I did. In fact, it’s Breakfast at Six after dark right?
Here were six ways on how MY intimate/sex life became the best it’s ever been:
- I got on top way more – willingly – which lead to more orgasms. DUH.
- We turned the lights on – more so than keeping them off.
- I had a fair share of quickies AND love-me-long-time, time. When you’re not confident in your body or yourself, you tend to settle for w h a t e v e r. STOP that.
- I walked around my house more confidently, in more risky pieces, cause I got it like that. Whatever your “like that” is…. THAT’s the confidence I’m talking about! Not perfection, just acceptance!
- The glow up was real. Need I say more?
- My husband met me in the middle way more – without me ever asking. Y’all want me to dive deeper into this? Chile… I caught him mopping, cooking different types of meals, LOL. I could even tell he was happier overall, which in the end, is a mutual goal for any relationship, intimate or not.
- 7 is a bonus. My hair grew more than it ever did in my life. Post-pregnancy times three! I’m not going to lie, after I poured into myself, drank more water, the sex was better, the glow was brighter, and my body started to respond in ways I didn’t think it would – no pills, no different hair treatments, nothing! So IMAGINE, if I’m in a doggy style situation, my natural hair is draping and SERVING its purpose, honey!
Now this list may not be a surprise to some and congrats if you’ve achieved this level and more! Hopefully, this tugs right on the heartstrings of the women going through and turn themselves away from intimacy because of what they may be lacking on the inside.
YOU DESERVE GREAT SEX and even greater, intimate moments.
*This article debuted on BlkGirlDaily.com prior to this post*